Magic iBall

Pressing, umm… "international" issues have kept the iPhone version of Magic Eyeball on the back burner for some time.

However, today, the hardworking staff of ElmerFudge.com (and Chris) are pleased to announce an Alpha version was installed for testing purposes on a device belonging to an elderly relative of Sahara's.

Unfortunately, it fell at the first hurdle. Last time I checked, the Loch Ness Monster was absolute fact and BigFoot, total fiction. Even as I type, Anne & Sandy are rappelling from a helicopter to an undisclosed address on a mission to retrieve the defective prototype.

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

Soon as the interns get back.

Elmer

20,000 Maniacs

A month, it turns out, is a long time in software land.

Whilst I was, erm, busy, Chris was snoozing at his desk, Sahara was making balloon animals and the interns were in foreign parts doing something they call "work", another ten thousand souls downloaded Magic Eye Ball for android.

Gord bless 'em, every one.

Elmer

10,000 Maniacs

Magic Eye Ball for Android continues it's race up the ratings charts. Sometime since I last looked on Friday, it crossed the 10,000 download barrier and is well or it's way to 12,000.

Anne and Sandy will no doubt give me the complete break-down on Monday, but I had a quick look at the stats just now and some interesting things pop out: Whilst this US is understandably the biggest market for App, India is in second place, closely followed by Ireland and the UK. The Philippines then make a surprise entry and the top ten is rounded out by Australia, Brazil, Canada, Greece and Germany.

I kind of get the Philippines thing as English is one of the country's official languages and the US had significant influence over their educations system after their occupation, but I don't quite understand the Indian connection.

It's a funny old world, isn't it?

Elmer

Cider House Rules

First day back for many of the ElmerFudge.com crew today.

Much celebration in the halls as the Interns filled senior staff in on the run-away, 6,000 download success of Magic Eye Ball for Android over the Christmas holidays. Apparently, take-up has been exponential. Anne and Sandy assure me this is a good thing, so I joined Chris and Elmer down the Dog and Duck for a swift round or three of celebratory beverage at lunch-time.

A few minutes ago, the loveable youngsters came racing in again to inform everyone that we had experienced our first 1,000 download "day" in the 24 hours since 8pm last night. Can you believe that? Certainly makes me think. Think that maybe I should get my name a little more prominently displayed on our next App.

Talking of which, today was our first day tackling the beast that is development of product for the mighty Apple iOS. iPhone Apps, to you. Much gnashing of teeth from the other side of the wall when Elmer discovered he had to shell out $99 plus tax on a developer license for something or other. Sandy pointing out that he could have saved that if he'd got 'round to buying the new hardware he and Anne had ordered went down exactly as you might imagine.

Our esteemed "Leader for Life" could be heard cursing someone called "Jeeves Tobs" and wondering aloud exactly when it was that he sold his soul to the Creature of Cupertino. The Fudgester later consoled himself with an industrial size mug of tea and the last of several yards of Jaffa Cakes gleaned from his annual tour of relatives and friends over Christmas.

Despite Elmers' grumbling, I'm reliably informed progress has been good today. Yes, all is well in ElmerFudge.com land. Elmer is sulking, Chris is asleep at his desk, I'm doing essential admin and the interns are beavering away with enormous grins on their baby faces.

Must be about time to head back to the pub.

Cheers, Sahara

Thousand Island

We did it!

Even as I type, 1,134 people of otherwise sensible disposition have downloaded our very own modest contribution to the Appsphere. Yes! Magic Eye Ball has cracked the 1,000 download barrier in some style and, in doing so, has propelled our dynamic intern duo to the top of their class with a perfect score on their Cristmas assignment.

So "yay!" for Anne & Sandy.

I taught them everything they know, you know.

Elmer

Milestones & Mistletoe

Bit quiet in the office today.

Elmer was adamant we all had to be here, but so far, we're the only ones who showed up. We'll be heading out soon for our company supplied all-expenses paid Christmas meal curtesy of an expired five euro bar-meal voucher for The Dog and Duck. We know it's expired because it has a "use-by" date of January 31, 2011, but the 2011 has been crossed out and 2012 written in in crayon.

Looks like Elmer's handwriting.

But before we head off, we'd like to share the news that Magic Eye Ball has passed the 500 installs mark. Thank you all very much indeed! We'll be watching the Holiday figures with interest and hoping all of you who are lucky enough to receive an Android device from Santa will download the App and help us reach our goal of 1,000 installs before our internship is up.

As we lock-up for the night and put the Jaffa Cakes back in the safe, we'd like to wish a Happy Christmas to all our customers from the assembled staff here at ElmerFudge.com, which, today at least, is just the two of us:

Anne & Sandy

The Upgrade Unicycle

Aren't things supposed to quiet down after a product release?

This morning we got some early feedback on Magic Eye Ball 1.0. Apparently, we had, despite Elmer's recent pontification to the contrary, singularly failed to target the correct market. Turns out Christmas presents for tweens and teens is where all the action is these days.

Who knew? Certainly not old fat-head in the corner office. No matter; with erm, several shopping days left till the big day, we still had time to make a few judicious changes.

By all accounts, the hot item on this years pre-pubescent wish-list is a phone from two once-great names in the mobile phone business. They are now going through a bitter divorce and dumping all their out-of-date stock on unsuspecting, bargain-hunting parents.

The version of Android these cut-price devices support? 2.1. The version we wrote Magic Eye Ball for? 2.2. I hate it when that happens. But who was going to make the changes? No use asking Elmer, he didn't even get into the office until noon and will, no doubt, be sleeping of last nights libations until the pubs open again.

Of course, I never sully my own hands with any of that "code" nonsense, so it was down to Chris or the interns. As I tip-toed up to Chris' cubicle, there was some kind of commotion under the desk, yet when I got there, all I found was his still hot mug of tea and a half eaten packet of Jaffa Cakes.

Wandering down the hall enjoying some smashing Jaffa Orangey goodness, I came across Anne and Sandy doing some "pair programming". They explained it was a way of "coming up with ideas for improvements and identifying potential problems" and very popular with some bloke called "Bent Keck".

Whatever it was they were actually up to, they only seemed to be using one computer; I made a quick mental note to halve their latest equipment requisition. Sandy said he and Anne would be "delighted" to make the changes required. I tell you, I think that boy was dropped on his head as an infant.

Cut a long story short, Magic Eye Ball 1.1 is now correctly positioned in the Android Market and ready to be installed by discerning App fans, such as your good selves, dear readers. I've not actually tried it myself, but Anne and Sandy tell me it's a considerable improvement over the 1.0 version and will probably set the App store on fire.

I have to assume that's a good thing.

More good news, apparently, arrived in the form of stats from our first 24 hours of downloadabilty. Anne enthusiastically showed me some charts and tables with all kinds of numbers and graphs and pies. Didn't understand a world of it. However, I get the impression the interns are quite excited about the whole thing.

I must be going soft, but until proven otherwise, I'll assume that's a good thing too.

Sahara

Marketing Mussels

A distant relative of Sahara's posed an interesting question this morning: What, she enquired, is our guerilla marketing plan?

Obviously, we have no interest in recruiting large primates to the cause; it's not so much that their fingers are too fat for most smart phones, they could always use a tablet, after all. No, it's more a question of their ability to pay the bill. They have no pockets. Where would they keep their wallets? It's a real non-starter.

It does, however, raise the interesting question of smart-phone demographics. Here at ElmerFudge.com, we spend a lot of time investigating the psyche of our target market. Dave, the barman at the Dog & Duck, is particularly well versed in what makes phone consumers tick.

According to this pundit of the pumps, your average smart-phone owner wants just two things from from the Apps installed on his consumer electronic of choice come closing time:

(1) A big button in the middle of this screen that, when you pass out and hit your head on it, calls a taxi, gives the driver your gran's address (don't want anyone knowing where you really live) and arranges for your best mate Phil to pay the bill with his wife's club-card points.

(2) An App that can dry out your phone after it's been dropped into you gran's downstairs toilet a couple of times.

Actually, I have a solution to that second one. It's the iPhone 3GS video camera. I accidentally activated one in my pocket the other day. When I got back to the office, the darn thing was too hot to handle and the battery was flatter than a tortilla that's been sunbathing infront of a steam roller. Burnt my leg too. It really hurt.

Anyway, with Dave the barman's' considerable assistance, the senior staff here at ElmerFudge.com put our heads together over a bag of pork scratchings last night and came up with this simple chart for working out who we are targeting when developing for specific platforms:

iPhone: Hipsters, soccer-moms, rich-kids
Android: Geeks, students, normal-kids
Blackberry: Suits, MBAs, my gran
Windows Phone:  Microsoft employees, erm...

So, if you're a trendy, mature-student grandmother who works for Bill Gates, we may well have a job for you. I think I'm right in saying a couple of intern positions will be opening up very soon indeed…

Elmer

Magic Eye Ball

I tell you, this is getting out of hand. I could have sworn the build was failing when the senior members of the team adjourned to the pub last night. This morning, all was well, the build was not only working, but there was a freshly minted App in my inbox when I finally rolled into the office.

I swear, it's like magic, this software stuff, isn't it?

Sandy mentioned some nonsense about needing to sign the App with a private key. Sign with a key? I ask you, what on earth are they teaching at university these days? Everyone knows you sign things with a pen.

Anne tried to fob me off with some cock-and-bull story about how I'd forgotten to initialize the store. For heavens sake! I was going down Tesco before she was so much as a glint in the milkman's underpants. I think I can safely say that was not the problem.

Whatever the issue was ( Chris is still trying to figure that out ) it appears to be fixed now and we, the ever so humble senior staff of ElmerFudge.com have, this very evening, installed, uploaded, transferred, distributed and whatever else it was we needed to do to make our very first App available for the world to enjoy.

Don't all rush at once, but if you should be so inclined, feel free to wander your mouse over to the ever so tasteful little Android Market logo over to the right and check out what we've been up to. On your phone/tablet, search for "Magic Eye Ball" in the Market and feast your phone on the fruits of our prodigious labour.

Also, go ahead and click the Magic Eye Ball tab above for some deep-tech or how the whole kit-and-kaboodle works. Haven't read it myself, you understand, but I'm sure it's all perfectly in order.

So, without further ado, I raise my glass to the hardworking staff of ElmerFudge.com, ( and the interns ) in thanks for a job well and truly done.

Cheers! Elmer

Delegation of Authority

Apologies, impatient App fans. Whole day up the spout, I'm afraid. His Royal Lowness, "St Elmer the Weird", decided the entire office had to spend the day hacking away at some lame system he wrote when he was in college. Would never have happened in my day.

He claims it was all in a good cause; a couple of youngsters in need of some Christmas diversion. Likely story. Smacks of a vanity project, if you ask me. Whatever the reason, we're now a day behind on our plan to storm fortress Android. But have no fear, dear thumb-twitchers; I have a cunning plan…

Code-meister Chris and I will shortly be joining our fat-headed boss in the pub for an in-depth, erm, strategy meeting. Anne & Sandy will be staying extra late to catch up on all the work we, sorry, they didn't get done today.

You know what? I like having interns. We should have thought of this years ago.

Sahara

The Launch Party

ElmerFudge.com  is astonished to announce it's arrival on the worlds stage. I confess, we missed a few cues and got lost once or twice on the way from the dressing room, but we're here now so you'd best get used to it.

In the days to come, we will be announcing the availability of our flagship (i.e. only) product in the Google Android Market and, if I can find the envelope I wrote the account details on, the Amazon Appstore for Android.

In the New Year we'll be dipping our toes in the piranha infested waters of Apple's AppStore with product currently under development. I can hardly wait, but enough already; If I don't get back to the party sharpish, all the Twiglets will be gone.

Cheers, Elmer